The REAL story!
by Gaara of Sunagakure
Summary: What happens when a spiky haired islander meets up with a giant retarded dog and a duck that has a speech impediment? He dies in every world they go to together. This is the real story of Sora's adventure to find his friends.
1. Chapter 1

**_Story Line:_** What happens when a spiky haired islander meets up with a giant retarded dog and a duck that has a speech impediment? He dies in every world they go to together.

**_What I have to say about my own story: _**I think it is not all mine. Again, the idea is from two peoples…alter ego and myself.

**_Note for ye people: _**This first chapter will probably drag a little bit. I mean I am not going to let it purposely drag, but it might. The first chapter is always to set up one, correct?

**_Song of the fic: _**She says 'Come on, come on. Let's just get this over with' I never said I'd take this lying down **---Taking Back Sunday:** **_Great Romances of the 20th Century_**

_**Chapter One: Drink up me hardies YO HO! **_

_---Sora's POV---_

I woke to the smell of a burning pancake. I wonder to this day, why I bought that air freshener and why I use it every night. Anyways…I ate my breakfast and made my way to the island where we usually hang out. I paddled my way to the dock and jumped out where Selphie usually stands. I was the only one there at the time so I thought to myself, 'As good as a time as any' and sat next to the water and laid there until I unexpectedly fell asleep. I had one odd dream… I was eaten alive by a giant black creature that appears on glass platform of Belle from that one Disney Movie. It was stupid, it told me to pick some kind of weapon thing and choose a path. I chose a shield, told Tidus I was afraid of getting old, told Selphie being number one was most important thing to me, and told Wakka I wanted to become stronger. Well anyways, I tried killing the big black creature that spawned from my own shadow with a freaking shield… I wonder why I died in my dream.

I woke up after being eaten and stretched. I fell on my back to see a red head in my line of view. I jumped up to see that the head was that of one of my friends.

"**_Gosh Kairi."_** I said turning towards her.

Kairi is one of my best friends. Recently I've been thinking about sharing a paopu fruit with her. I'm not sure if I just have a crush or what.

"**_Sora you lazy bum, I knew I'd catch you snoozing down here."_** Kairi said slowly. Maybe she thinks I'm mentally retarded or something.

Out of nowhere spawned Riku holding a log. He walked up to us with a confused look on his face. He said something about him being the only one actually working on the raft then threw the log on me.

"**_And I'm starting to think that you're just as lazy as he is."_** He said pointing at Kairi.

"**_Hehe,"_** Kairi laughed putting her hand behind her head, **_"so you've noticed."_**

Riku just smiled then sat next to me. They started talking about something but I was too distracted by a fish in the water. I shook my head in agreement occasionally so they thought I was still listening to them. Riku stood up and started running, I had no idea why he did, but I got up and followed. Where's Kairi you ask? She's a few feet behind us, waving her hands back and forth, giggle like a retarded child. What do I see in this girl?

I wondered off by myself after and ended up back were I started, next to the dock. By this time Tidus, Wakka, and Selphie were here. Wakka was next to the waterfall and the secret place. I think Wakka is developing a secret crush on Riku because every time I talk to him he praises him. For example:

"**_Hey Wakka, how's it hanging?" _**I asked, not really interested of course.

"**_Oh, hi Sora. Me a Tidus have been thinking about heading in the secret place." _**Wow… I thought Tidus had a crush on a girl who isn't in this game.

"**_Oh… well. I guess I'm going to go fight Riku on the little island over there." _**I pointed my thumb over my shoulder towards Riku, who was sitting on the paopu tree.

"**_Riku's so great! I don't think there's anyone stronger than he is. He's constantly staring off to the ocean too…"_**

He kept talking but at that time, I tuned him out and jumped on top of the 'Shore Shack.' I ran across the bridge and screamed Riku's name but he didn't even look behind him. He said something to me and I agreed, not really knowing what I agreed to. Without another word, Riku jumped off the tree and started hitting me with his wooden sword. After about three minutes of me being hit by a toy, I climbed up a tree. I think this confused Riku because he started taunting me then jumping backwards. He said the same thing repeatedly so I finally jumped down. I started to walk towards him but he kicked me off the side of the miny-island and proclaimed victory. **(Don't you hate the fact he can knock you off but you can't knock him off? That bugs me)** By time I climbed back up the ladder, he was sitting the exact way he was before.

I fought a few times with Wakka and Selphie because, frankly, girls are easier to beat up. Enough of this, I was bored. I walked over to talk to Kairi then, after hearing her talk about ditching Riku, we headed back to the main island, where our houses were located.

_---Next Day---_

So here I am again, standing on the beach… this is so boring! When am I going to able to do something fun? I went to the other side of the beach and found Kairi on the raft.

"**_Sora! I made a list of things we'll need for our journey." _**She said pulling a bottle out from behind her. HOW DID SHE DO THAT!

"_**Ok we need: two coconuts, a seagull egg, three mushrooms, four fish, and some water, not out of the ocean. There is some fresh water on the island."**_

"**_Need anything else? You know, milk… CHEEEZE?" _**I was being serious but she thought I was kidding, so she laughed. I mean really! Go I look like a grocery store?

I turned around and started beating on a coconut tree. Any _NORMAL _person would have climbed up the tree to pick the coconuts, but no… I'm not a normal person. I couldn't be seeing how my shoes are bigger than my body! Anyways, a brown coconut fell off and I showed it to Kairi.

"**_Will this due?" _**I asked holding it in front of her.

"_**Uhm, try seeing if there's any yellow ones. We don't want them to spoil." **_

_Well then you get it you lazy…!** "Ok… you're right." **_I just smiled and started hitting the tree again.

I finally got two yellow coconuts at the extent of a major headache. It seems that every brown one hit me in the head on it's way to the ground. I already got the seagull egg but the mother seagull started pecking me on the head. The four fish were easy to find, seeing how there is only four in the ocean. Yeah, rights right. The saying 'there's plenty of fish in the sea' is a lie! There's only four, and I just put them in my pocket. I got some fresh water from a little waterfall spawning from the rocks. I looked over to my left and saw Riku standing there… perfectly still.

"**_Hey Sora, we need a name for the raft." _**Riku said as I walked by, **_"I was thinking High Wind. What do you think?" _**

"**_Hmm… how about… EXCALIBUR!" _(When I first played Kingdom Hearts, I just wrote High Wind in caps so it was more dramatic that way Riku won even if he lost… oh I also added the exclamation points…)**

We decided that we would race to see which name would be on the raft.

"**_If I win… I get to be captain. And if you win…" _**I said kinda confused.

"_**I get to share the paopu fruit with Kairi."**_

"_**Huh?"**_

"_**Deal? The winner shares a paopu with Kairi?"**_

Kairi decided to be the referee and called the race. Riku and I took off towards the bridge. I jumped on a loose board then quickly jumped off so Riku took the fall. As I grinned in victory, Riku appeared next to me, running up the stairs. We both ran pass the raft then up the hill to touch the star. I got there first then jumped on top of the first tree. I was rickety at first but soon got myself together. As soon as I jumped on the third tree, Riku did also, pushing me off. I growled then quickly started running after him. He was on the bridge heading back towards Kairi; evidently, he didn't know I was right behind him since he started to walk. I jumped over him a quickly claimed first place.** (1403 words not including the beginning and the stuff below…I counted… But if you count everything it's 1,652 words including everything after this sentence. Don't believe me? Then Count! COUNT TILL YOUR HEART'S CONTINT! WHY? Because I'm good like that. GO ME!)**

--- Ok guys, I already know it isn't that good. I already have plans for the first world. –evil smile- Review if you want, frankly I hate when the authors tell the readers to review, although I'll admit I have put R&R a few times. If you're a flamer, go for it, FLAME AWAY! I really like to hear what all of you have to say, be honest. I'm debating on whether or not I should update or make this a one shot thing…


	2. Déjà vu!

**_Story Line:_** What happens when a spiky haired islander meets up with a giant retarded dog and a duck that has a speech impediment? He dies in every world they go to together.

**_Note for ye people: _**I have a confession to make… in the last chapter, when I said my minion was my alter ego… I lied… I am her alter ego. shakes head in shame

**_Song of the fic: _---Taking Back Sunday:** **_Great Romances of the 20th Century (too lazy to think of the next line…)_**

**_Chapter Two: Déjà vu!_**

I laid in my room and thought about what Kairi said to me. Her voice replied in my head until a storm started rolling in. My thoughts went completely blank as if the storm was somehow interfering with my reception. That is why you should not steal cable children; storms will cut off your thoughts. I looked out my window to see how bad it looked when I realized that Riku forgot the put to raft up. **_NO! How will Kairi and I run away together if the raft is broken? I bet Riku did this on purpose! _**I jumped out the window and raced to my boat. As I paddled my way to the island, I found out how hard it is to get from one island to another in a category three hurricane.

"It's Riku's boat… and Kairi's." I said, talking to myself yet again.

I looked around me to see shadows popping out of the ground, forming little twitching creatures. I leaned over and picked one up, studying its shape and weight.

"Is this a dream?" I asked as I put the creature back on the deck, "I'll call you Shadow!" I proclaimed as the Shadow scratched me across my leg.

"Hey!" I yelled as I kicked the creature off the deck, "HA! You can't swim can you?" I mocked the creature for a moment, and then turned around only to see that there was more.

I threw my wooden sword in to the crowd of Shadows then ran towards our Secret Place. I thought I would be able to find refuge there but instead there was a huge bright white door where the entrance was at one time.

"Cool." I said as I tuned around to see Riku standing on his little island, "Riku? Standing! Something must be wrong!"

I ran over to the Shore Shack and ran across the bridge. As soon as I walked up to Riku he started talking about a door to darkness or something like that. I was a little freaked out… Riku was being so serious.

"Riku what's going on with you? Where's Kairi? Oh my gosh you killed Kairi!" I jumped back and grabbed a coconut off the ground.

"I didn't kill Kairi Sora; I'm waiting for the opening to other worlds… stop being a spaz." Riku answer flipping his bangs out from in front of his eyes. **_Man that's hot… wait a minute…! _**

"TAKE THAT!" I yelled as I threw the coconut at his head… that's what he gets for trying to be so cool, "HA! Direct hit!" I did a victory jig... I call it the "Sky Shuffle" and it's named after me!

"Sora you dolt! That's it I'm leaving!"

With that Riku was covered in a cloud of black stuff which started to go around my legs also **_AHHH!_**… he held out his hand as if he wanted me to go with him. I leaned towards him, trying to grab his hand and all he did was stand there. HE WASN'T EVEN TRYING!

"If you're going to hold your hand out make an effort to grab mine darn-it!" I yelled as I fell face first on the ground.

I stood up after the fog of darkness eeped away to see that Riku was no longer on the island. I went to go pick myself up when the words "keyblade" started popping up around me.

"AH! Cover your heart!" I screamed as I started swinging my arms violently to keep the words away.

After about an hour of fighting off words, I stood up and found a giant key was in my hand.

"What's this? A KEY! I BET THIS UNLOCKS ONE BIG HOUSE! I'M RICH!"

I started to dance around with the abnormally sized key until Shadows appeared. Without thinking I hit the Shadow with the key and it disappeared. _**Sweet.** _I started charging after all the Shadows that were popping up on the island until in idea struck.

"I'm hungry." I said as I walked towards the Secret Place, "Maybe there's another mushroom in here."

When I walked into the Secret Place I noticed Kairi staring at the door… you know… the door… the door none of us asked about because it makes just as much sense as everything else. Anyways, I bet Kairi's here for my mushroom! **_MINE! _**

"Kairi…?" I asked as I walked up towards her getting ready to hit her in the back of the head so I could claim the food for myself.

"Sor…ra…" Kairi said. **_Seriously, I'm not retarded… really! If she would've just said "you" even I would have known who she was talking about… not like there's anyone else here._**

The door behind Kairi opened and a gust of wind had her hurling towards me. I went to go catch her but instead her big head hit me in the face and made me fall back onto a rock, which cut its way through my stomach… **_Way to go Kairi!_**

---Waking back up---

I looked around me to see shadows popping out of the ground, forming little twitching creatures. I leaned over and picked one up, studying its shape and weight… wait a minute… déjà vu.

---Reread half of fanfic---

"Kairi…?" I asked as I walked up towards her.

"Sor…ra…" Kairi said. **_Seriously, I'm not retarded…really! If she would've just said "you" even I would have known who she was talking about… not like there's anyone else here._**

The door behind Kairi opened and a gust of wind had her hurling towards me. I went to go catch her but instead she disappeared and I flew backwards and apparently getting knocked unconscious.

**Chicka chicka whoot whoot! Okie dokie, here's chapter two! The next chapter is when I'll start randomly killing Sora and his comrades… (evil chuckle) Anyhoop, I'll have chapter three up soon… who knows… I mite already have it up! (group gasp) that's all for now… ta ta! **


	3. Rabies

**_Story Line: What happens when a spiky haired islander meets up with a giant retarded dog and a duck that has a speech impediment? He dies in every world they go to together._**

**_Note for ye people: I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts… Diddle-le-Dee!_**

**_Chapter Three: Moogles!_**

I opened my eyes to have a dog lick me on the side of my face. I muttered something unfamiliar to me and every other human being. My eyes adjusted to the light and I saw a yellow dog with a huge nose breathing in my face.

"Eww… dog-breath!" I yelled as I pushed the odd-looking dog away from me.

The dog's eyes narrowed and foam started to flow from his mouth. My eyes widened as the dogs fangs penetrated my flesh causing blood to draw to the surface.

"Ahh! What the…!" I yelled as I held my hand against my chest.

I glared at the dog, and as I went to go kick him, he ran away. I would have chased after him but I staggered into a corner and hit my head on a crate. I stood up and walked out in the opening to see that I was no longer on my island. Cool. I walked down a set of stairs and saw a postbox thing to my left, a little boy who looked a lot like Tidus to my right, and a fuzzy thing in the middle.

"HOW CUTE!" I yelled before taking off to poke at the creature, "Aren't you just the cutest little thing ever?"

"Kupo?" it replied tilting its head to the side.

"What's this?" I asked poking at the reddish ball dangling over its head.

"That's my pompom, don't touch my pompom, WHY DOES EVERYONE WANT TO TOUCH MY POMPOM!" the once innocent looking creature was drooling heavily and panting.

"Alright…I'll see you later." I ran off into the Accessory Shop next to where I came in. "BEHOLD!" I yelled as I entered the store.

"What?" the man behind the counter asked as he cleaned out his ear.

The man was chewing on a toothpick. He had blonde hair and reminded me of my grandfather back home.

"Grandpa!" I yelled as I jumped over the counter and hugged his waist.

"Ge't off me boy b'fore I kick ya' out of heerre." The man started trying to push me off until I let go.

"You're not my grandfather!" I yelled running to the other end of the store, pulling the key out.

"I ne'vr said that I was yu'r grand'pa. Wattcha plannin' to do with that there key?" he asked pointing to the two inch house key I held in my hand.

"Woops," I said putting it in my pocket, "wrong one." I pulled the keyblade out of nowhere and started attacking the stove next to me.

"My name's Cid."

"Sora… or if you're Kairi and think I mentally retarded you can call me Sssooorrrraaa."

"A'right Sssooorrrraaa, there's be'n some weird…" I stopped listening to him rant as soon as I realized he just hinted that he thought I'm retarded.

I left the shop and started looking for something, but A.D.D. kicked in and I realized that my hand was swollen from that dog bite. I walked through all the distracts fighting random things popping out of only God knows where, trying to find a doctors office or hospital but all I did was end up back were I started. I walked back in the Accessory Shop and looked around then left again. Cid didn't ask the fifth time I did this. When I walked out of the store, this time some dude with a fuzzy jacket and brown hair that greeted me.

"Hey you…" he said pointing at me.

"Huh?" I asked as I licked my swollen hand.

"The Heartless will continue to come after, as long as you wield the keyblade."

"So… it's good exercise and I really enjoy watching them explode."

"Why did the keyblade have to choose you?"

"Because I'm a great dancer and I'm social?"

"Just give me the keyblade."

"No, this is the key to my new mansion. You'll never take it from me!"

I started fighting this dude to protect my house when all of a sudden he shot fire out of his sword/gun thing. Man that's cool! All I get is a friggin key he gets the gunblade thing that shoots fire and hurts people! At that moment, I was unconscious… AGAIN. Anybody seeing a pattern here?

I woke up to see Kairi… wait… that can't be right.

"Kairi?" I asked.

"Kairi? Who's Kairi? I'm the great ninja Yuffie!"

"Oh, sorry I thought you had red hair."

"Red hair… how'd you mess that up?"

"Donno."

"So who's Kairi?"

"One of my friends. She is fourteen, has short red hair, her neck is tiny and she dresses like a harlot. Seen her anywhere?"

"Wait… really… how'd did you mess that up? Clearly I'm older than she is, my hair is black, I'm wearing a scarf and my neck is in proportion to my body."

"Beats me."

"Beat you! Can I, can I, PLEASE!"

"Please."

"I think you over did it Squall." Yuffie said turning towards the dude who knocked me out.

"It's Leon." He answered.

"Wait a minute… before I get confused… is your name Squall or Leon?" I asked standing up.

"Leon." He answered.

"Nuh uh! You're name is Squall. His-name-is-Squall-but-he-doesn't-like-it-so-he-goes-by-Leon-which-is-actually-the-first-part-of-his-last-my-Leonhart-so-instead-of-calling-him-Leon-like-he-wants-I-usually-call-him-Squall-or-Squalleon-so-we-both-win-but-if-I-call-him-Squalleon-his-name-would-be-Squalleon-Leonhart-which-is-a-tongue-tier." Yuffie finally took a breath then smiled really big. She didn't stop for a breath or anything… it was like one big word… that was confusing.

"What the…?" I was interrupted.

"Anyways… just call me Leon and disregard everything you heard if you could even understand what she just said."

"Ok…" I replied putting ice on my forehead.

"Anyways we took the keyblade away from you." Leon said.

"It turns out, that's how the heartless where tracking you." Yuffie added as she ran up the wall and did a back flip.

"As long as you wield the keyblade, they'll keep coming and coming." Leon added on to what Yuffie added on to what he said… yeah.

"Ok." I stood up and started attacking a clock as Yuffie sat on the bed singing in some other language and Leon…Squall…Leonhart…Squalleon… that dude stood by the door.

"Heartless!" Leon yelled as we ran out of the room.

We got out of the hotel and were now standing in an alleyway.

"Don't worry about the small ones, let's go find the leader." Leon said as he ran off.

"Small… these things are as tell as I am!" I yelled after him as Soldiers started appearing around me.

I went to run after Leon, but when I turned the corner he went behind, there was only a brick wall. I ran the other direction until I came to a little house. I walked through it only to see furniture and two Dalmatians. Who would leave their door unlocked like this anyways? That's just stupid. I went up to the Dalmatians and the words appeared again. AHH! Not again! The words said that their puppies were stolen and hidden around the worlds… What was that…? Around the worlds? No wonder why the puppies are gone the f-ing door was practically wide open. Anyways, I left the house and went into the third distract only to have a giant dog and fat duck fall on me.

"Get off of me!" I yelled as my mouth foamed and I bit the ducks wing.

"OUCH!" the duck yelled as he inflated and exploded.

"Hehe… neat." I said as the pieces fell. The dog jumped up and begged me to spare his life. "It's not like I did it on purpose… I think I have rabies." I wiped the foam off my mouth and smiled.

"Why'd you do that for!" a high pitched annoying voice yelled

"What the…?" I said turning towards the duck, "how'd you do that?"

"I always come back a few minutes after I die, but never when you actually need me." The duck smiled and I hit him in the face with the keyblade and he disappeared.

"Good, a few minutes of silence."

A giant suit of armor appeared behind us and the keyblade can in my hands by itself.

"Do I have to fight?" I wined as the keyblade shook and pointed itself towards the creature. "Is that a yes?" the keyblade shook some more, "No?" the keyblade stopped, "Yes?" shook again, "Fine I'll beat it up."

"Garwsh that there's sure one big Heartless." The dog said.

"What was that?" I asked completely forgetting about the Heartless which was about to step on me before it got interested and leaned in to eavesdrop.

"What was what?" the dog asked squeaking.

"That 'Garwsh' thing you just did."

"Really, I heard it all the way over there and I was confused too." The Heartless said shrugging.

"Ok look, let's kill him then we'll talk." I said hitting the Heartless in the face, "That's what you get for being nosey!"

"HEY STOP DOING THAT!" the duck said when he reappeared.

"Doing what?" I asked hitting him again, making him fall over dead. Hehehe… awesomeness.

In the middle of the fight, the head of the creature squished the dog. I screamed in victory when we were done.

"I didn't die! I didn't die!" I taunted as I danced in circles around the defeated duck and dog.

At that time, the author thought it would be a good idea to make that scene ironic and my hands started burning. I feel to my knees as the rabies slowly killed me off… it sucked because it hurt a lot. After I feel to the ground, I opened my eyes to see nothing but darkness. I looked over me to see a shiny pink heart floating. Is that mine? I stood up and grabbed the heart and looked around. I saw two rectangles: one said "continue" while the other said "load" Hmm… I walked over and poked the one that said continue and I appeared back on the ground in the third distract with Leon, Yuffie, the dog, and the duck leaning over me.

"Hehe… well… that was interesting." I said.

_**Hehe… I think I'll leave it here… I hope you enjoyed it and all that jazz. I'm having way too much fun with this fanfic… I feel loved that people actually like it, (other than my friends who have to say they like it or I'll go Gaara on them) Thanks for the reviews thus far! **_


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